somewhere in the past...

Man, I'm getting depresssed, low, quick
When am I gonna learn, who am I gonna turn, too.
empty heart
delusional thoughts
martyard wife
shattered life
false
the mask wherein I hide
sores of pain full thoughts, wounded pride
all hope abandoned
a long time ago
in my mind
open wounds drip, claws that wont release
pull me in to make it, present.
Paranoid
where have I gone
who stole my happiness and left me this diseased soul
took my life and threw me aside
and it was gone, I blinked and
I screamed inside my head
starring in the mirror
I'll kill you
give me back, whats mine and all that should have
been, stolen
I'll find you and kill you, me
laugh, don't cry
hide
inside, your head, keep it secret
pain, loneliness, paranoia, don't tell
don't tell, STOP YELLING!
my head aches with the bickering
the war never ceases suffering increases
I can't even look at you
me
pieces
my life has been torn into
no use of picking them up what no love can put
back together
Unitl you, so much alike so much to hate
especially of what reminds me of me
scream, scream again, there's no end...

HMMM, HMMM, HMMM, HMMM....

Ok, I'm new at this so I really don't know what I am doing....What's new!
Well it is 1:25 AM and I feel sneaky cause I got our of bed and here I sit... I spoke to my Dear Friend Shanna and had a good and needed laugh! All the while Ed composed collages for the Meeting tomarrow... Trying to navigate this is not my forte, see, how in the world would you get that little mark above the "e" in Forte?? Beats me... And this dashboard thing is beyond my comprehension for now, Like I can get five minutes to figure it out.. maybe after this post....
I told Shanna that I needed to remember something, but alas it is in the jumbled mess of what I call the "dinning room table"... Meaning, something new gets put on the table and something falls off the far end. No more room left. I think most people know that about me, and that endears me to them! HA! HA! Boy am I funny at this hour! I feel compelled to read these "blogs"... And I was told you really don't let anyone know you have posted them.... Like I excitedly told Shanna what I was doing and that was her reply... I guess she means the "high ups" and such... Like I said we are attending a "Meeting" tomarrow, but what kind of Meeting...HHMMM Ancient Chinese Secret........

Can I Have Five Minutes Please!

Ok, I wasnt going to resort to this! Blogging!
But in order to have my comments heard, especially since no one in my family seems to care other wise unless they have an interest or what they can get for them selves,
Ok where was I... BLAH, BLAH, BLAH..... Oh MY commets! Holy Cow!
I feel sorry for anyone I know and love, or just happened to stumble upon this "blog". The rants and ravings of such a person! Ok, about the title. I was sitting here wanting to post a comment to a relatives "blog" and I was advised my comments would NOT be posted unless I logged in!...
"What? Not Posted! Unless I sign in! Muther Hubbard! Oh man!
You mean I have to remember something else?! (My husband I have been so consummed with our "other Project" that we forgot to celebrate 10 years of marriage! AAUUGGH!)
So once again I digress!
Oh the title!
Once again I am interupted to field a plethra of homework questions!
(I'm so mean! ;-)) and my urging my daughter to once again pick up the Polly Pockets!
Get To The TITLE!

CAN I HAVE FIVE MINUTES PLEASE!