A Day In The Life...

The drama as of late... Well well well which sorrid tale should I tell? Well my son Ian and daughter are playing, very well I must admit... Ian, who is never short on the drama, manages to end up swallowing a philips screwdriver bit! You know the kind, it is a screwdriver in which you can change the tip and never have to look for the right screwdriver again, unless you manage to lose the bits! Go figure! SO... He and his little sister are playing with a box she and I had decorated as a house. How the bit got in there is not a mystery. As of late it is no ones responsibilty when it comes to putting things in their place.... Rhiannon, sitting in a chair above him, Ian sitting on the floor beneath her. She knocks over the box. Ian's mouth, open! VOILA! The bit manages to be sucked into, and down Ians throat! He screams: "I swallowed a screw!" I come running in from the kitchen, wondering why daddy is not on the ball (did I say I was wondering? Men!) and how it is when he is sitting right there; HOW in the world has this managed to happen! Well as you will soon find out, this is Ian and this is our life !!! (Three exclamation marks!) Things just happen here... "Are you sure you swallowed a screw?" I ask. "YES! It's right here in my throat!" Ian screams, How he manages to say anything is beyond my comprension after swollowing what he says he just swollowed! And he points to his throat with such a fierce action for a 9 year old.... Ian, as you will find out, is over the top with everything... "Ok Ok calm down" I say. Daddy says have him drink milk.... I veto him, to which I latter find out that is what the Dr.s at the ER say to do! (AAUUGGHH!) And I have daddy rush him to the ER just in case Ian really did swallow the Screw bit! Cause you know, I'm sure Ian just felt the screw bit brush his lip and he "thought" he swollowed it. Mr Academy Award Winning Actor! Can this evening get any worse! I had to say that! The X-ray confirms he really did swallow the screw bit! His x-ray is almost as big a he is! So he has to spend the next few DAYS HOME from SCHOOL, and # 2 in a "HAT" that sits on the toilet seat, so that we could examine what he has "passed"! OH JOY! All the school work we will have to make up! AND examining his leftovers for the screw bit! BUT Daddy took him to work, (Yes, a luxury in this day and age) and he sat at the computer, was the honored guest and told his tale of woe to all who would listen of course! And Daddy gets to examine the leftovers! ME? I had a doctors appointment. (More about that latter...) Previously on ER (Oh that sounded like the T.V show!) Previously AT THE "ER"! Ian tells anyone who will listen he swollowed the screw because: "Im low on iron!", "I'm going to be Frankenstien for halloween because I already have one bolt in me", "I'm screwy" (Yes it is not really a Screw or a Bolt, He's 9 Ok?) And the jokes just keep comming! Did someone turn on the neon sign saying it was comedy hour? They let him keep his X-ray! And they were so Nice! He spent TWO whole days home from school! (SIT DOWN! YOUR GOING TO PREFORATE YOUR INTESTINE AND DIE FROM A SLOW LEAK!) Did I mention he has an A+ in conduct at School? And now he wants to drill a hole in the bit and wear it around his neck on a leather lace... Thats my Boy!